Sunday, August 5, 2012

The Chronically Silly Olympic Games 2012

I found this over at the ChronicallySilly.com. They posted this back in 2010 so I made ever so  minor adaption for this blog. I hope you find it as funny as I do. 


2010 CHRONICLYsILLy OLYMPIC GAMES!

Good Morning!
I have been planning an event of epic 
proportions, that shall forever change 
the way the world perceives Chronic 
Illnesses...(Drumroll please)....it's the 
2012 CHRONICLYsILLy CHRONIC 
ILLNESS OLYMPIC GAMES (the
very first Olympics geared towards 
those of you that are Chronically Ill).

 Athletes are gathering from all stretches of the globe to team up
 and suit up for their cause. So I encourage you to come on down and
 join your team, the teams competing in this year's games include but
 are not limited to: Team Lupus, Team Sjogies, Team M.S, Team
 Fibromyalgia, Team Diabetes, Team Celiacs, and Team Rheumatoid
 Arthritis! ...
All teams uniforms/ 
warm-ups will be fully
equip with the latest
in sports technology,
and a variety of 
wonderful features,
including a pill pocket,
located on the inside
of the warm-up jacket
(for your convienence
throughout the games), 
and a hydration pump 
that runs from a small
pouch on the inside 
back of the warm-up 
jacket so that even the driest of mouths can stay 
hydrated (that's right all your Sjogies, and sufferers of dry mouth, this 
feature's for you!). Each uniform/warm-up will also include the awareness 
ribbon of their cause, and their team name located down the pant leg (as
well as your name/nickname embroidered under your awareness symbol 
over your heart!)
So now that your arriving at the 2012 
CHRONICLYsILLy Olympic Games in style,
I'll give you a brief tour of the Coliseum, 
where most of the events will be held 
(although there are a few others scattered
across the OlympicVillage). The 
CHRONICLYsILLy Castle-bounce Coliseum 
(Yes, for those of you that didn't put two 
and two together from the name
Castle-bounce Coliseum", or the picture,
it is, in fact,Castle-bounce, and for any of you that know me, you 
know that I have an unhealthy obsession with them!) Unfortunately, 
for safety reasons,we could not get permission to light the Olympic 
torch inside the Coliseum (something about a fire hazzard... BLAH 
BLAH BLAH...) so we will kick off our 2012 CHRONICLYsILLy Olympic 
Games by cutting a ribbon that will allow us access into the Coliseum 
for the first time since it's construction/blowing up (a few hours prior to 
the start of the games!)... 

Now that we've kicked off the games, without further Adieu...I'd like to
proudly present you with the: Official 2012 CHRONICLYsILLy Olympic 
Games Events List:

Wrestling:
*Sjogie Island Sumo Wrestling (in what we will refer to as steroid suits! and 
for those of you unfamiliar with the sport, it originated in the driest part of 
the Sjogie Islands Sand dunes desert, thousands of years ago, and is an 
ancient practice that is highly respected among the Sjogies!) WOW! 
doesn't that look like fun!



Relays:
*Rheumatoid Arthritis Prescription filling races: (distances include)
*1 month Supply
* 3 month Supply
* Long Distance: 2 prescriptions by 3 month supply (for all you 
overachievers out there)
* 4 man Multiple Sclerosis Pill Popping Relay: (for those of you unfamiliar 
with this event, your team of four line up with their own designate
"d" pills, each team member that is first in the line, must take their pills as 
fast as they can, go get a fresh water glass, fill up, and bring it back to their 
teammate who is next in line, the first team to finish all of their pills, wins!)

*Lupie Laps:(4 man relay race, each member of the relay team must 
walk a lfull ap around the CHRONICLYsILLy Castle-Bounce Coliseum
when the return to the beginning of their lap, they high five their teammate 
who then does their lap, and so on and so forth, until all four team members 
have done their lap, the fast time wins!-and please, no running, yes it is a 
race, but we do not need any heroes tripping and breaking a hip because 
they have low bone density...)

Boxing:
*ROCKEM' SOCKEM' Celiac Boxing Tournament( did you really think we 
would havereal boxing at the CHRONIC IllNESS games, come on, we're 
here to have fun, getting socked in the face and knocked unconscious 
doesn't sound like much fun to me, and if my platelets happen to be low,
forget about it!)

Fencing:
* Fibromyalgia Fencing (no worries folks, we are using styrofoam swords, 
there will be no thin metal daggers being jabbed around at the 
CHRONICLYsILLy Olympic games...)

This concludes our events list for the first ever 2012 CHRONICLYsILLy 
Olympic Games. So gather your teams/friends and anyone else with a 
Chronic Illness, and come on down to sign up and partake in a piece of 
history (and don't worry, the games are held over the course of a single 
weekend, because lets be honest, how many Chronically Ill individuals 
have EXTRA sick days lying around... Besides, I don't think your boss 
would be too thrilled when your excuse for missing work was in the form 
of a note from the head of the CHRONICLYsILLy Olympic Board, excusing 
you from your job because you were partaking in Sjogie Island Sumo 
Wrestling and Rockem' Sockem' Celiac Boxing!) On that note, all of this 
planning and event coordinating has left me dragging, and I can almost 
see the bottom of my oversized coffee mug (I'm not kidding, it's a solid 20-
ounce coffee mug...) which to me, indicates only one thing, it is time for a 
refill...So I will leave all of you (civilians and CHRONICLYsILLy Olympic 
athletes) with our daily Jolt-of-Java:

Jolt-of-Java: "Risk more than others think is safe, Care more than others 
think is wise, Dream more than others think is practical, and expect more 
than others thin is possible...Be the change you want to see in the world..."
-Adapation from Claude T. Bissell

2 comments:

  1. This is a riot! Thanks for the much-needed laugh! I would seriously order one of the "uniforms" and the extra sick day comment had me rolling!

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    Replies
    1. When I found this at Chronically Silly, I couldn't stop laughing either. They say laughter is the best medicine; so I'm glad I could give you a laugh or two.

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